The sermon for church today was on actively living out one's faith as a Christian. The sermon text was taken from Deuteronomy 6: 1-9. Brother Geok Seng was the sermon preacher for today's sermon. Brother Geok Seng has a dialectical, logical style in which he delivers his sermon, although sometimes, the argument might not necessarily be as solid as he asserts it to be. A classical logical argument that is heavily featured in his sermon is the modus ponens, or reasoning by implication which takes on the structure of if x, then y; x, therefore y. However, he usually fails to substantiate from any sources why there should be a proposition that y should follow from x. For example, he would say something like "God is one" (Deuteronomy 6:4), and then simply assert that from this premise that "God is one", he should get all our love and worship. I do appreciate his efforts to use classical formal logic to present his propositions, but I think he could do better if he substantiates such reasoning using biblical sources, or else provide a more complete reasoning process behind why a conclusion should follow from a premise.
Anyway, today's sermon message was about how we should actively live our faith and not be passive about it. Brother Geok Seng says that it is usual for a person to be passive in how he lives his Christian life, relying on the church ministers and speakers to guide their spiritual growth and making them responsible for it. Loving God is a choice, Brother Geok Seng emphasizes, and we have to choose to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength. However, I would have to say that I have been finding it hard to love God since I have been experiencing certain difficulties in life and God does not seem to be answering my prayers to alleviate me of my hardships. I suppose the question I usually find myself asking myself is whether God loves me, and if he does not love me, it would be fruitless for me to love him as my God. I know that God has given me salvation by sending Jesus to die on the cross for me, and in my daily life, I am abundantly provided for. Yet, things like sustaining a hearing impairment, and suffering from tension headaches, and finding it difficult to cope with school work makes me ask why God doesn't answer my prayers to cure my problems. I know that it is possible that God has a plan for me through such trials, but it really feels like God does not exist when I have been so sincere in my prayers but find my problems persisting. And thus, I do find it difficult to think of the notion of loving God as being simply one of choice. I feel that he needs to love me first, and to show it not just through dying on the cross to save me from my sins, but through ensuring my well-being as well and answering my prayers to cure me of my bodily afflictions.
Another significant point that was brought up in Brother Geok Seng's sermon was about how we should be consistent in our daily conduct with that of our declared faith and witness. I used to be stronger in my faith in God, and was more deeply committed in my church activities. But since having experienced bad results in last semester for the exams, I have also assumed a more 'secular' mindset in going about doing things, such that I believe that I have to be 'practical' and 'realistic' in the way I do things. I don't like this idea that a Christian has to be 'practical' in his outlook of life by evaluating his commitments to the church and cutting down on them as part of being 'responsible'. For me, I would say that if God is real, and Christianity is the true religion, then it is the most important thing of an individual's life. And since the Christian God is a personal God who is infinitely powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving, we need not worry as Christians about a thing in life, but trust God in every aspects of our life. I would certainly wish not to have to work too hard in life but be able to find my sustenance. I would like to be able to come for my weekly discipleship group meetings in church without having to feel guilty that that was time that should have been responsibly spent studying. I mean, that was how I lived before this semester, attending all discipleship group meetings, going for every sunday service, and tithing 10% of my allowances, with the firm belief that God could help me do well in the exams the relatively less time that I was putting into studies. So I was upset, both at myself, and at God for not helping me do well in the examination. But I really don't wish that I have to follow the secular wisdom of living 'realistically' or 'pragmatically' by cutting down on my church commitments. I really wish that I could rely on God all my life and do well in the vocation that I am placed in. And I don't see how this supposed 'unrealistic' mentality that I take of my Christian religion is being inconsistent with the Christian teachings that I have been getting from the bible and from the church - that God helps. It is not qualified help, such as the usual aphorism that God helps those who help themselves. God simply helps. And that is the notion of God that I wish to have in my life, that he would help me without me having too try to hard or have to be wise enough to know how to help myself.
I suppose I have been struggling alot with my faith in God given all these difficulties and dismal results that I have been obtaining in life. I wonder why God doesn't seem to be as helpful to me as how the bible would portray him to be. Sometimes, I feel that perhaps Christianity is the wrong religion, and that I might find the true God in another religion, or that perhaps those high-minded and clever atheists were right when they say that God does not exist. But I just don't wish that to be the case. I wish that God exists, and that he is the Christian God, and that he loves me, and would do everything in his infinite power towards providing for my well-being, and answering my prayers.
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