Showing posts with label Life skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life skills. Show all posts

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Attending a relative’s wedding



I just attended a wedding of my cousin in Malaysia. There has been recently a spate of weddings from relatives from my maternal relatives. It’s like everyone is growing up and going through another passage in life, getting married and settling down. One of my female relative gave birth to a baby girl, whilst another is pregnant with a child.

I like attending the wedding and seeing a lot of my relatives and distant relatives at the occasion. I like to get together with my cousins, to talk to them, and get to know how they are doing in life. I got to know some interesting relatives whom I had not known before in the occasion. There is this guy whom I met who is studying dentistry, and another who is studying medicine at NUS. Amongst my immediate relatives, there are many people in the field of medicine or law. I do like the fact that I have an aunt who is a lawyer, and another aunt who is a law professor. It provides some inspiration for me to believe that I can do well in the field of law as well.

Attending a wedding also makes me ask the question about whether I will ever get married in life. For one, I have never been in a relationship before, which I believe is rather late considering that I am already 23 years of age. I guess I do suffer from some inferiority complex about whether there are any girls who like me. And I don’t like to take any overt action to express my liking for a girl or to initiate a relationship. When I attend a wedding and see many people there at the wedding, it does cause me to worry about the question whether there will be as many people attending my wedding if I should marry. I guess I don’t exactly think I am a very influential person in life who has much social contact or influence.

I suppose I am still trying to find the right girl in my life whom I can spend the rest of my life with. And I guess I will try looking around and attending functions and social events where I can get to know more girls. There is the Varsity Christian Fellowship at campus, and I try to attend as many functions as possible within my social comfort zone. I am thinking of other avenues by which I can get to know more Christian girls around my age. Perhaps I might go on a church hopping spree, or engage in online dating. But I hope to keep my cool about such things and let things happen naturally, if they indeed ought to happen that way. I do take a line of philosophy about how to approach life from the folk song Que Sera Sera. I suppose there are some things that are not within our control, and it is being realistic to acknowledge the presence of such things.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Bill Gates Sr Showing Up for Life – Hard Work


I continue with the audio material by Bill Gates Sr, Showing Up for Life. In this segment, he talks about the value of hard work.



One of the reason Bill Gates Sr gave for working as hard as he did when he was younger was that he likes working, and the challenge of making decisions where there is the risk of failing.



Another reason was because of his father. He recounted that in his first summer job during high school, he worked as a ‘swamper’ in his father’s furniture store, lifting furniture and delivering them to people’s home. In 1912, his grandfather, William Henry Gates agreed to $733 to buy a furniture store in downtown street Bremerton. Bill Gates Sr said that his Dad’s life revolved around the store. His image of his dad was him walking around every night picking up coal that had fallen off the trucks and putting them into their coal box. Coal then was used for heating. The reason was due to the era of the Great Depression and there was the fear of poverty. Bill Gates Sr stated that his father had learnt what it meant to be poor long before the Depression, who as an eight years old, sold newspaper in the freezing cold of Alaska to help the family get by while his dad went panning for gold. As an eight grader, he gave up school to support the family. He didn’t go to movies or ball games, fish or bowl or hike, or take a vacation.



Bill Gates Sr recounted how in the early days of Microsoft, his son, Trey (Bill Gates) and his partner, Paul Allen worked, ate and slept in their first office where they wrote software programs. There were no days off, and they worked at the same relentless pace for decades.



It is ironic that I remember coming across a quote by Bill Gates which goes “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” I suppose one can dispute the conventional wisdoms sometimes, and see things in more than one way.



Another contrarian remark that I read came from Warren Buffet who quotes Ronald Reagan - “Hard work never kills anyone. But why risk it?”



In addition, I think it also important to question whether one’s hard work is being adequately rewarded for. Is there a better way to do things? And who stands to gain from all the hard work that is being put in, especially when one is working for another person as an employee?



The wisdom teacher in the book of Ecclesiastes makes some really apt points about work to put things into perspective. In Ecclesiastes 4:4-8 – “And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves. Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless— a miserable business!”  The point here is moderation when it comes to work. To not be like the fool who impoverishes himself with his laziness, but it is also meaningless to work oneself to the bones and deprive oneself of enjoyment in life.



Some people work to the extent that they forget how to live life when they are not working, and find it difficult to enjoy themselves on their vacation or on their day off. What comes to my mind now is a snippet from Lee Kuan Yew, who speaking from his own experience, called on elderly Singaporeans to be more “productive” and work as long as they can: “You work as long as you can work and you will be healthier and happier for it. If you ask me to stop working all of a sudden, I think I’ll just shrivel up, face the wall and just that,” he said. It’s like he doesn’t know what to do apart from working anymore. I like this quote from one of my favourite writers of all time, Lin Yu Tang, from his book “The Importance of Living” – “If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live”



I suppose my approach when it comes to work is to learn to find means of earning a living where I find fulfillment and do good, and to bargain for my fair share of wage commensurating with the profit I gain for the company, and to find ways and means in society to which I can invest my money, such as through entrepreneurships or through investment vehicles like stocks and shares.



I wouldn’t want to have to work to such an extent that I have to compromise my Christian commitments, such as not going to church on Sundays or constantly missing on weekly fellowship meetings, or I won’t have to time to spend with my family. And I guess it would be necessary to set out the rules from the start when finding employment that I would draw the lines as such. As of now, I am not sure whether I am someone who can handle too much stress or too much work, such as having to work overnight and going on sleep deprivation.



I heard that as a lawyer, the working hours are long, especially in the private firms. A senior I know relates to me how she is getting burned out from the long hours and workload she is getting from a big law firm, and having to work throughout the weekends. It makes me apprehensive on wanting to choose such a law firm to work at. On the other hand, I have heard how work life is pretty balanced being a Deputy Public Prosecutor at the Attorney General’s Chamber.



I really could do better by knowing how to make money, and not be trapped in the conventions where I earn a regular stipend working hard and long hours for others. I suppose I will try studying how rich people make their money to see if there are effective ways of making money without exhausting myself with too much work.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Bill Gates’ Sr Showing Up for Life - Showing up



Bill Gates Sr is the father of the Microsoft founder Bill Gates. He was a prominent lawyer in Seattle who owned his private practice, but is now retired. In this audio material by him titled Showing up for life : Thoughts on the Gifts of a Lifetime, Bill Gates Sr talks about the values he holds on to in life.  He has adopted the suffix "Sr." to distinguish himself from his more famous son. Bill Gates, his son, gave an introduction to the audio material, addressing to his Dad that the next time people asked whether he was the real Bill Gates, to tell them ‘Yes’, and that he is all the things the other one strives to be.

The first chapter of the audio material was about showing up. Bill Gates Sr states the following in the audio material.

“When I was a young lawyer in the 1950s, I first became involved with causes in the community by joining the board at the YMCA where I had spent many happy hours as a college student. After a while, I decided I wanted to do more in community and help out in a hands on way. So in addition to pro-bono work, I started serving on communities and boards, everything from chamber of commerce to school levy campaigns. Over time the nature of them change, and the numbers great. My wife Mary was showing up for her own list of cause. Why do I show up so much? Well, I suppose there are many reasons. I show up because I care about a cause, or because I care about the person who asked me to show up, and maybe sometimes because I get irritated when other people do not show up. My obsession with showing up has become a joke among my children; still I noticed that they have picked up the habit. And frankly, that is what happened to me.  I started showing up because as far back as I can remember, I watch people I admire show up.”  

I like the perspective that Bill Gates Sr gives about showing up and volunteering for causes that there are in one’s community. Indeed, I think such a value has rubbed off his son Bill Gates who now undertakes philanthropic work with his Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. It is about taking initiative to volunteer at causes where help is required, and I think Singapore society can do better if people take on a more volunteering spirit when it comes to helping out in community causes. For myself, I figure that I should be more active in helping out with causes around my community, whether this be in school, in church, or in my neighbourhood. During the last campaigning for the Singapore general election in 2011, the member of parliament for my constituency, Muhammad Faishal Ibrahim, was doing his rounds going from house to house to greet the residents. He told me that I could help serve the community by serving out administrative roles for the residents’ consultation sessions with the Member of Parliament. I was reluctant to because I wanted to spend more time studying for law school. But since I am now on leave of application, I figure I might want to give it a try. It would be an avenue for me to interact with the residents from Yishun coming from different walks of life, and to understand the issues that they face in life.

I wish I could show up for more causes in law school and in church, but I do suffer from some self-confidence issue about my capabilities. For example, I initially signed up for the pro-bono club at law school, but I decided to pull out when there was a project which required members to research and write about how prevailing laws should be reformed. I have not been doing too well in law school, and I find research and writing difficult for some strange reasons, so I was worried that I may end up not being able to put things together. I tried joining the LSIRC (Law School International Relations Committee) when I first came into law school because I thought it might give me an avenue to interact with Japanese exchange students as I was quite fond of Japanese culture. But I was rejected after the interview, presumably because I did not exude the quality of being sociable enough to interact with foreign students on exchange. But I did volunteer in one such activity that was organized by the committee by bringing out some law female students from Hong Kong University around Orchard.

I really wish I could ‘show up’ more in life, and participate in more causes and activities in life. I suppose it would really help if I overcome my lack of self-confidence, and if I were to inculcate a more pro-active approach to going about things in life by actively identifying causes and participating in them.

This lesson on showing up reminds me of the parable of the talents in the bible where the lazy servant was punished for not putting his talents to use, whilst the industrious servant was rewarded for putting his talents to use. I suppose the moral of the story is that there is an obligation on us by God to put whatever talents that we have to good use, and we will have to account to God on how we exercise our talents while we are here on earth.

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