Viewing God’s response to prayers as privilege and not entitlements

Part of my frustration with my chronic tension headache condition comes from the thought that God seems to be ignoring my prayers for healing. I wonder why God would not answer my prayers in the most direct and apparent way by healing me completely of my tension headache if he is indeed real, and hears my prayers. There are times when I feel so frustrated over this thought that I resolve to myself that the answer is God does not exists. But then, given some time, I would relent on that position, and attempt to find answers to give God the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps God is doing something to help me. He might be using gradual means rather than instantaneous ones. Or as the Christian trope would go, God’s will abides by his time. There might be some wisdom to such a saying. Moreover, when I consider that the alternative is one of disbelief in God, which does nothing to help me with my tension headache problem, I find myself perceiving God’s help in a different way – that it is a privilege more than it is an entitlement. If under the normal scheme of things, should things proceed according to nature without any intervention by God, that there be no healing, then healing on the part of God should be perceived as a favor to divert away from such an undesirable outcome, and the lack of such favor granted should invite no more disgruntlement than if God were not to exist and our problems persists in the natural course of things.

I wonder if this thought makes sense. Perhaps another way to explain my thought here is that often times, it is easy to get disappointed with God over the perceived lack of answer to one’s own prayers, when such disappointment is not warranted since God is not duty-bound to answer such prayers in the first place. On second thought, I think it is quite harsh that disappointment should be seen in such a negative light. Perhaps, it is understandable if one gets disappointed, but we shouldn’t go to the extent of being disgruntled with God because that shows that we are mistaking any positive response on God’s part as an entitlement rather than simply a privilege to ourselves. I wonder whether the same can be said of the ancient Israelites who grumbled against God in the desert because they wanted something which God was not duty-bound to give them. If they had merely expressed disappointment, God might not have been so angry at them.

I suppose I am guilty of such disgruntlement. More than that, I have probably expressed anger at God. I still want my healing, and I would hope that God would not make it so hard for me to get it, but I suppose I could very well have a certain greater depth of perspective regarding unanswered prayers, rather than instinctively becoming unhappy and getting angry at God. I would imagine a more emulable biblical character responding in a more dispassionate manner to unanswered prayers with “Well…if it isn’t the Lord’s will, then it is just as well, and so be it”, and I guess I could try to adopt the same attitude.

Thoughts about a blog article on unanswered prayer

I was reading an article about unanswered prayers. In that article, the author attempts to suggest some reasons why prayers remain unanswered, and how we should pray in order for our prayers to get answered. The author cites the Lord’s Prayer and attempts to distill some principles from it as a model. One key principle the author claims is that we should hallow God in our prayers, otherwise we will be praying self-centered prayers, and that may be the reason why a person’s prayers does not get answered. The author cites the passage of James 4:2-3 where James writes in his epistle to his audience that even when they ask, they do not receive because they ask with wrong motives. The author makes the point that even seemingly godly prayers like the author’s own asking for God to change his children could be self-centered in nature as it does not focus on the kingdom of God.

I have mixed feelings when reading the article. On the one hand, I am desperate for God to answer my prayers, especially with regards to physical healing of some of my chronic illnesses. Thus, I just hope to apply whatever the author is recommending so that God will answer my prayers for healing. I figure also that it couldn’t hurt to focus more on the aspect of hallowing God when I pray. I believe that I do indeed try to hallow God’s name when I pray. I would ask God to heal me because I believe that he is an all-powerful, merciful, and loving God. But perhaps I might have left out the part about asking for God’s kingdom to come, and that his will be done, or something like that. If praying that would make my prayer more effective, I would certainly do it.

On the other hand, I can’t help but feel that this suggestion of having to pray for God’s kingdom or otherwise my prayers are self-centered is legalistic and artificial. I hope I am not being overly-cynical, but it sounds to me that God is scrutinizing my prayers such that if I don’t add a particular phrase or clause, he will foul me and not consider my prayer requests. It doesn’t matter whether my prayers are heartfelt, or sincere, or whether I am pleading with God most earnestly, because if I haven’t hallowed God’s name, or asked for his will or kingdom to come, I am being self-centered in my prayers.

Personally, I have a different conception of how God is like, or how I think he should be. I conceive of God as loving and sympathetic to our needs, and even our desires. I like the idea in the bible of how we should think of God as our Father, and we his children. Some of the bible passages I favor about prayer are those like Matthew 7:9-11 where Jesus was telling his audience that just as we as human parents know how to give good things to our children, so much so will God, the Father give good things to those who ask of him. As such, rather than a legalistic God who would make such demands on the way we pray, I would believe that God is keener on trying to meet our prayer requests for our needs, even if they may be self-interested (or more negatively put, “self-centered”). I can accept the point about how God desires that we as Christians should want to advance God’s kingdom and do his will, but I am quite adverse towards the idea that I must have such desires first before God will consider meeting my needs. And to be honest, I often don’t feel that the advancement of God’s kingdom or doing his will is at the topmost of my mind. I don’t even feel like praying for this actually, because the concerns for my own needs or wants can be pretty overwhelming. It can seem forced for me to have to conform to this idea that I have to do those, so that God will answer my prayers.

Perhaps I might be overly-cynical by saying that the God that the author describes is legalistic and demanding. I know the author means well with his article, but this are my thoughts about it at the moment. 

On intercessory prayers

A friend messaged to ask me how I am. I responded by replying about the health issues that have been troubling in life, such as the tension headache, and the panic attacks. I wished that I could say something else more interesting about my life, but I figured I would just be genuine about what bothers me most. It occurred to my mind that she was a catholic, so I asked her whether she could pray for me. I even asked her to obtain intercessions from the saints from her faith to get God to heal me. I told her that my Christian friends have been praying for me but to no avail, and perhaps, a prayer from a catholic friend would be good. She told me to ask St Anne to pray for me, and that there is a St Anne church in Singapore. However, as someone brought up in the protestant faith, I am reluctant on taking up the practice of resorting to the saints for intercession. But I just feel that perhaps, the Catholics might have something there about appealing to the saints for intercessory prayers.

I don’t quite get the idea behind intercessory prayers though. Even protestants practice it to some extent, asking for people perceived to be of good standing with God to pray for them in the belief that “God listens to a righteous person”. The underlying thought is that their prayers might not have gone answered because they were sinful or not righteous enough.

I really don’t know how God works, and who is right on their characterization of God. I suppose some Christians would argue that the notion of requiring intercessory prayers limits the understanding of the way God works, that he acts for our good will whatever faults we may have. Other Christians out there have the understanding that God would not answer prayers if the individual sins, or that he prefers to listen to the prayers of those he consider righteous, or closer to him.

While I prefer the former understanding of how God works, I still have an innate mentality of the latter. But all said and done, I am quite the pragmatist. Whatever floats God’s boat. If he wants a righteous person, and I am not a righteous person, get me a righteous person to say a prayer for me. For now, it seems quite a cultural maladjustment to call upon Catholic saints, although I have the belief that there is possibly a good argument from the Catholics on why they call upon the saints. I don’t think it is an idolatorous practice to call upon such figures for intercession.

What is true Faith?

Today’s sermon at church by the pastor was about faith. The pastor gave his sermon based on Hebrews 11 and his sermon was titled Faith of the Ancients. The character of Abraham was used as a model of true faith.

What exactly is faith? There seems to be many definition of what faith is. For this sermon in church today, the pastor states that faith is expressed in obedience to God. The pastor points out Abraham’s obedience to God’s command to go into a new land, as well as to God’s test of him to sacrifice his son Isaac. A Christian friend who recommended me to go for deliverance services in order to receive healing from my tension headache tells me that the faith asked of is not so much about believing that God will heal me, but more of an experimental nature of recognizing the possibility that God may heal me. He terms it “experimental faith”.

I was googling about Christian solutions to obsessive compulsive disorder. Okay, the reason is that I suspect that I might be suffering from a certain obsessive compulsive disorder known as “hypochondria” in that I have preoccupative thoughts about health-related worries. I have worried about things like “damage to cardiovascular health due to passive smoking”, “mercury poisoning from breaking lab thermometer”, “electromagnetic radiation from CRT computer screen”, “brain damage from alcohol consumption”, “brain damage from hitting head on floor” etc. Perhaps this preoccupation with my tinnitus and tension headache are also obsessive in nature, and over-proportionate to their severity. These obsessive health-related worries can be quite debilitating as they can occupy my thought for an entire day and last for months. I was thinking that Christianity might offer solutions to my obsessive worries.

There is this Christian psychiatrist by the name of Ian Osbourne who has written a book titled “Can Christianity cure obsessive-compulsive disorder?” He has a website with the address ocdandchristianity.com where he writes information on strategies to deal with obsessive compulsive worries. His proposition borrows from his understanding of a new approach in the world of psychology to deal with OCD named “responsibility transfer therapy” (RTT). The idea of RTT is for the sufferer of the OCD to release himself or herself from the obsessive worry by transferring the responsibility of the worry to another person to handle. For example, a person who worries obsessively about not turning off the gas before leaving the house would delegate that responsibility to check that the gas is turned off to another person, thereby relieving him or her from some measure of that obsessive sense of responsibility to ensure that the gas is turned off. Using this psychology paradigm to describe the Christian approach of trusting in God, this responsibility is here transferred to God. An excerpt from the website below.

“A person suffering from fire obsessions, for instance, turns to God and allows him to take responsibility for the prevention of fire. The individual tormented by contamination obsessions gives to God the responsibility for whether or not he will get a disease. The person who fears she has offended God leaves responsibility for any offense to God….Devout individuals with OCD must work to resist compulsions. In doing so they demonstrate or prove, both to God and to themselves, how much they trust him and love him.”

This Christian RTT approach relies on the notion of faith in God in its method. The writer has provided an excerpt of what faith here entails.

“Theologian Martin Buber illuminates the issue. In his seminal book, Two Types of Faith, Buber begins with this proposition: “There are two, and only two, types of faith: The one from the fact that I trust someone . . . the other from the fact that I acknowledge a thing to be true.” Religious faith, according to Buber, always involves, most basically, either trusting in God or believing in a revealed truth. It is the first type of faith, he is displayed on every page of the Old Testament, as well as in most every sermon by Jesus. It involves unconditional trust in a God who is personal, vital, loving, and trustworthy.

This has great relevance for OCD sufferers. One of the things most puzzling about them is their inability to be reassured about their obsessional fears. People with religious obsessions can be told again and again that Jesus died for them, and that salvation awaits them, yet they still have agonizing doubts. Obsessionals, in fact, have great difficulty in believing in any fact that directly opposes one of their obsessions. OCD sufferers cannot even take as a fact what they see with their own eyes: they can stare straight at a light switch, see that it is off, and yet fear that it is on.  OCD sufferers have a hard time believing in facts. They are doubters. Yet they are very good at trusting in others. It is trust in the person of God—in his power and his mercy—that OCD sufferers must rely on.

For instance, in the case of a person who obsesses that a fire will start in her stove, the right kind of faith is to leave the possibility of a fire with God. If God should, for God’s own reasons, want a fire to start, then he will start one. If he doesn't, he won’t. The wrong kind of faith is to have “faith” that a fire won’t start. For another example. Suppose a person obsesses that he has lost his salvation, and will go to

hell. The right type of faith is to leave his eternal destiny in the hands of God.

The OCDer is called to a deep kind of faith: trust in the ultimate power and mercy of God. We can be greatly consoled by a confident hope that God will prevent an obsessional fear from being realized, a hope that is based on our trust in God's mercy and love. But we can't have factual certainty.”

I appreciate the distinction made by the theologian in the excerpt above. Basically, it is a distinction of faith about the factual certainty of God doing something according to one’s wishes, and a ‘milder’, less demanding sort of faith of simply trusting in God. However, a question I want to ask is what kind of faith is actually asked of in the bible. And here, I can quote two scripture giving different answers. There is the one in Hebrews 11 which seems to indicate faith of the kind that requires belief in factual certainty of the fulfillment of the request to God – “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Then there is the account of Jesus healing the leper in Luke 5. In that account, the leper begged Jesus “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean”. I thought that the faith expressed by the leper, as connoted by his words is more of the ‘milder kind’ in the sense that he has faith in the power of Jesus to heal, but he still leaves as a question of whether he would be healed on the basis of Jesus’ willingness to heal. Now, I will highlight that there is still a thin distinction between the faith described here with that ‘milder’ version of faith in the Martin Buber excerpt above. The leper expresses his faith in Jesus ability to heal, whereas Martin Buber’s ‘milder’ faith simply expresses trust in God given any circumstances, even if things go against the desired wishes of the person holding onto this faith. (Trust me guys, there is even more of such mind-numbing delineating of concepts and definitions in law studies, and some law school students who quite inadvertently develop a habit to see a need for clarification of such delineation in whatever they discuss. I see that theologians may come second in the running for such vain inquisitions)

Personally, I think the ‘milder’ kinds of faith is more reasonably to be asked of a person than a faith demanding a belief in the certainty of the fulfillment of the request. I mean, why does God have to require that his subject believe whole-heartedly that he, God, will do what the subject want before he does what the subject wants? It seems idiosyncratic to me.

In this website containing Philip Yancey’s synopsis for his book “Prayer – Does it make any difference”, Yancey concludes on that question of prayer with “I now see it [Prayer] not so much as a way of getting God to do my will as a way of being available to get in the stream of what God wants to accomplish on earth.” I don’t think Yancey is necessarily theologically substantiated in his drawing up of priorities of the different functions of prayers. I would like to think that I can and should use prayers to make God do the things I want him to, and that this is as equally important an aspect of prayer. There are many examples of such prayers in the bible where the prayee (pardon the legalese) is requesting God to do something that he wants. But I like how Yancey realistically acknowledges the predicament that believers face in having their prayers go unanswered and things not going according to their prayer requests, perhaps the reason why he came to, in my opinion, a disappointing conclusion that the priority of the function of prayers is more of to understand God than to expect a fulfillment of the prayer request. And I appreciate that he does not take the condescending tone that some Christians might take towards another believer by suggesting that that believer’s prayer is not answered because that believer did not have enough faith in God, or that that believer “did not ask for God to come into his or her heart”. A harsh logical understanding of scriptural passage may lead to such conclusions in my opinion.

Law school starts tomorrow for me, and I can’t say that I am feeling too prepared to deal with school given my prevailing conditions. I did experience a lot of difficulties for the past few semesters because of the tension headache, and perhaps, as what I suspect, from obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety disorder. Word has it that these conditions are chronic. But I am hoping for this phase to pass and for my mind to be more settled so that I can concentrate on my law studies. I am not sure whether Ian Osbourne whom I mentioned earlier is being truthful or simply trying to be encouraging, but I like what he wrote in his website about how “three of the greatest luminaries in the history of the Christian

religion: Martin Luther, John Bunyan, and Saint Therese of Lisieux” suffered from obsessional fears indicative of OCD as well, in particular, fear of loss of salvation. Martin Luther, progenitor of the protestant faith I know. John Bunyan I have heard of but am not too familiar, and the third one I have not come across (but I should read up on since she is so venerably described by the author, and to ensure that I come off as well-informed in case one of those smart aleck Christians start questioning me on my knowledge of Christian history). I am amused by his identification of disorders based on his study accounts of these historical figures and his thesis that “All three, even more remarkably, after receiving unhelpful advice from their church elders, found a way to conquer their tormenting thoughts through faith. Each found the same solution: Trusting absolutely in God’s power and mercy. In psychological terms, they transferred the responsibility for their obsessional fears to God.” Perhaps I may come to find a similar sense of relief from being able to trust God more.

Sunday Sermon - Prayers

Today at church, the pastor gave a sermon on prayer based on the scripture reading from Luke 11: 1-13. The pastor was saying that the Lord’s prayer is a model prayer from which we can emulate when one prays to God. So within that passage of the Lord’s prayer, there are several qualities that can be identified. First, it identifies God’s interest as the priority of the prayer as shown from the words ‘your kingdom come’. The pastor juxtapose this quality of prayer with prayers which he says are self-centred in nature, which in the pastor’s words, are due to the sinful nature. It got me thinking of the kind of prayers that I usually say to God. I would usually say the Lord’s prayer in the morning. I added in the Lord’s prayer to my daily routine because I was concerned that I might not be praying enough about God’ kingdom in my own constructed prayers, and it would be best to copy wholesale what is said in the Lord’s prayer. I do try to be as deliberate and thoughtful when I say the Lord’s prayer, reflecting upon the words when I mention the Lord’s prayer. I would usually have to pause for a moment at the part about forgiving the trespasses of others. It causes me to think how I should respond to people whom I feel have wronged me in the past if I truly forgive them. Also, it does cause me to reflect upon the sins that I want God to forgive me for. I guess I could spend more time reflecting when I pray the part about ‘your kingdom come’ because I feel that for the most part now, I simply recite those words, probably with the attitude that God will bring the kingdom on his own initiative and I am simply welcoming it with my words.

 

I used to say only the following as my morning prayer – “Lord, at the beginning of this new day, let not my will but yours be done, for I have no true knowledge about what will bring me true happiness. Grant me the self-discipline to do whatever you will. Bless and protect my friends and my family. Amen.” Now, I say this prayer after the Lord’s prayer. I suppose one might think that my way of saying prayers sounds mechanical, but I find having a routine prayer nice because I don’t have to think too much when saying my prayer. I guess, in this latter prayer of mine, I am reminded to trust in God’s good will for me, even as if life might not seem to be going so smoothly for me. I constructed this prayer when I was in Junior College, and back then, I was quite a proponent on the virtues of self-discipline as a way of accomplishing things, so I included it in my prayer. And one thing that worries most in life is the safety and well-being of my family members, as well as my friends’, and by praying the last phrase, I am also reminded to be concerned for them, and prayer is the least I could do to effect my concern.

 

Now, I have a constructed prayer for meals that I believe Christians might criticize as the self-centred kind. It goes – ‘As I partake this food, bless me with good health, good strength, good intelligence, good looks, good social skills, good wisdom. Bless me with your presence and your guidance. Thank you for the food. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.’ I made up this prayer when I was in secondary school, and I think it has kind of stuck with me. I guess I really do wish for God to bless me with a lot of good things in life, and shouldn’t the least I should do if I really want these good things is to ask them from God? Now, I try to structure some personal praying time with God that is not composed in nature during meal time if there is no one eating with me.

 

It seems I got carried away with talking about my personal prayers, so I shall end my writing on it with my bedtime prayer. I get it from a wallpiece that I see in my bedroom which shows two little cartoon children kneeling down to pray. It goes – “As I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord my soul to keep, guard me through the starry night, and awaken me at morning’s light.”

 

I have been rather angry at God these days for not healing me from my tension headaches, and from tinnitus. Sometimes, when the anger kicks in, I would refuse to pray to God. But then when the angry thoughts go away, and I have that thought that God is a kind god after all, I would pray to God again. I am quite confused about my religion at the moment, and do struggle with doubts about the existence of God. I guess I just want God to heal me of my tension headaches, and of tinnitus as well.

 

There were other things said by my pastor for his sermon. He mentioned this phrase which I thought quite beautiful – “The tithes of a church may build it up, but it is the tears of prayers that gives it life.” Another thing mentioned was about the intercessory function of prayer for other people. The pastor referenced the part about Abraham praying for God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if at least a quantity of righteous people could be found. The pastor went further by referencing the Romans passage about how no one on earth is righteous. I have become apprehensive of too far-flung a reference of biblical passages in order to make a point, but I guess what the pastor is trying to say is that we should pray for everyone on earth because everyone requires intercessory prayer for their unrighteousness. I just say that I am a quite apprehensive about imputing the same sort of unrighteousness of Sodom and Gomorrah on everybody, and think that unrighteousness over there is different from the unrighteousness used in that Romans passage.

On obsessive worries and persistent preoccupying thoughts

What should one do about an obsessive worry, or a preoccupative thought that bogs the will of an individual, to the extent that he finds himself quite unable to function in any other manner in life. I guess one method of resort is to pray. It beats worrying silly and putting one’s thoughts obsessively on the issue. But of course, one could argue that it is just as unhelpful to pray in an obsessive manner to God about an issue. But I believe that there may very well be a difference, in the sense that if you believe in God, and accept the teachings of the church that one can and should correspond with God in a manner that is personal to oneself, then it might be considered virtue to talk to God about a worry. The usual teaching that I have hear from my church is that God cares about the things that affects you, and nothing is too small as to be insignificant in his eyes.

I know that in the world of psychology, there are methods employed by a psychiatrist to treat conditions such as obsessive compulsive disorder. I get my impression about psychologists mainly from the media, and from television dramas. One of my favourite US sitcom is the detective show Monk, which features a male detective who suffers from what is palpably the condition of obsessive compulsive disorder. While the psychosis in one sense debilitating to his social life, it is also on the other hand the underlying trait responsible for his genius in his feat of detective sleuthing with his attention to details. Now, one recurrent side archetypal character in that sitcom are the psychologists that Monk, the eponymous protagonist, attends to help him with his obsessive compulsive disorder, which had gotten worse after the death of his wife. The meetings with the psychologist typically features a room with two chairs placed facing each other where the psychologist sits on one of the chair whilst his patient sits on the other. And the dialogue that proceeds follows a certain stereotype where the psychologist sits by the chair with a pencil and a notebook in hand, and scribbles points of notes as his patient rattles details according to the questions prodded by the psychologist. Thereafter, the psychologist makes comments based on his observations, articulating the unspoken thoughts that lies within the recesses of what they call the “region of unconsciousness” that exists in the individual. Traumatic childhood experiences and repressed sensualities are the common lingos of the psychiatrist in explaining the world of the unconscious.

In some ways, praying is quite akin to visiting a psychiatrist, with God as the psychiatrist, and you as the patient. And I do feel that there is something quite therapeutic in the process of simply rumbling on about one’s worries to God, in manners that may be considered incoherent or irrational by others. Does prayer work? Perhaps as much as how psychotherapy may work. The ability to articulate one’s worries and to believe them heard has a calming cathartic effect. But whether prayer works further than that, I do not know. If one expects too much of prayer as a way of obtaining subsistence to his petition, I am afraid that he may go away sorely disappointed, or that he might become disillusioned at the apparent absence of response. That is my experience. And I have found myself railing at God for his seeming lack of response. I thread on the lines of committing grievous sins such as blasphemy in my rancor. Perhaps, if I were more rational or even-headed about how prayer works, I would not have found myself so perturbed and could have avoided the excess of emotions. But perhaps, there may some significance to which anger over disappointment works in one’s correspondence with God. It is like a stage of maturation, in passing, to which its ends lies in some repose obtained from a transcendent enlightenment to the state of affairs, or simply from resignation and acceptance of circumstances. A psychologist appealing to more secular paradigms would probably reference the Kübler-Ross model, also commonly referred to as the five stages of grief. And such stages are quite manifestly expressed in the prayer process. Ranting at God fits in somewhere between the stage of anger and bargaining.

There is another paradigm which is quite beautifully expressed in a show named Joan of Arcadia, and it is called Desolation and Consolation. See this post by James Bradford for an excellent write-up about this paradigm. It’s like what Solomon, or Qoheleth, writes about in Ecclesiastes – A time for everything. There is a time for desolation, or to feel aggrieved and have misgiving towards God, and there is a time for consolation, where things seems to make sense, there is a sense of inner peace, and God seems loving and kind.

Prayer : Conversing with God by Rosalind Rinker

I would like to highlight some points that I took away from reading Prayer : Conversing with God by Rosalind Rinker.

1. Rosalind Rinker commented on how she noticed people in a prayer meeting she attended prayed in a certain manner. People said their prayers in a certain fervent tone of voice, and used a certain language. She also noticed that when the pastor’s wife prayed, people said “Amen” and “Yes Lord.” When she said the right thing they seemed to be encouraged and agreed with her and said so. It bothered her for a while, but soon she found herself praying in the same manner and wanting to say things that would make people say “Amen” to her prayers too. She wondered if God wants us to talk to him in that unnatural tone of voice. She also wondered how can we be our real selves with Him if we pray like that?

I do know of Christians who have that fervent tone when they pray as well. I believe that they are being sincere in their prayers, but it strike me as unnatural too. It is not the same tone or language that they would use when talking with their friends around them. But I believe that they are being sincere when they pray, as much as I am when I pray to God in my rather ineloquent manner. But I would agree with Rosalind Rinker that it is an issue if presentation of prayer impedes being genuine in one’s prayers with God.

Regarding other people saying ‘Amen’ during prayers, I actually like people to say ‘Amen’ when I am praying as I feel that they are listening to what I am praying, and affirming the things that I am praying for. I don’t mind being affirmed during my prayers, or affirming others when they pray as well.

2. Rosalind Rinker writes about her ideas of how group prayers should be like. She calls it conversational prayer. Instead of just praying around in a circle, to remember consciously that the Lord Jesus is right there in the circle, and to speak directly to Him, simply, honestly, just as we talk to anyone in whom we have real confidence. Say ‘I’ when we mean I, and ‘we’ if we mean the whole group. Another thing is to pray by subjects. If someone starts to pray for Joe Blow, two or three of the reset of the members should feel perfectly free to pray for him, too. Then wait a moment before introducing a new name.

She was concerned about how the traditional format where each member say his or her complete prayer before moving on the next member may quench the spirit because members who may have a thing to add may forget about what they wanted to say when it is their turn to pray.

I think it is a prayer format that I can certainly give a try with my prayer groups. I do like the sense of informality in the prayer format, and the interaction amongst the members during the prayer. But I am curious about whether it would be disorganized when people interject the prayer before someone else have finished. Moreover, would quieter members find it difficult to say something especially when the more vocal ones interject in the prayer? Rosalind Rinker did address that concern when she say that the prayer group should not be large as members may become quiet as they feel that others will pray and they need not say anything.

3. Rosalind Rinker made a suggestion about how one should pray for things that commensurate with the person’s faith that God would grant him or her the request in the prayer, and how this is a gradual process of building up of faith. “Pray for only what you believe God can do, for a certain person in a definite situation during a given time period.”

One problems that I find regarding the notion that one must have faith in order for God to answer prayers is that it seems so artificial. Why can’t God grant me what I want without me having to develop an expectation that my prayers will be answered? And there are many times when I feel that I have faith but my prayers are not answered.

I am not sure about this prayer philosophy about praying only for what you believe God can grant. I would prefer to pray for anything I want to pray for without having to constrain myself to first having to believe whether God would answer my prayers.