I had been giving my church discipleship group a miss for a number of weeks because I wish to put in as much time as I can into my studies. I did not do very well for my law exams last semester and so I want to be as responsible as I can by putting more effort into my studies.
I received a text message earlier in the week from a friend in my discipleship group which he had sent to the members of our discipleship group. In the message, he talks about how most of us have not been attending discipleship group and he thinks that we are being drawn away from by our various commitments. I replied him by asking him whether it is necessary sometimes to cut down on our christian commitments in order to give priority to our work or studies. He replied that while it is necessary, we should draw the line in determining what we should cut down, and that activities like Sunday service and weekly discipleship group meetings should be compulsory.
I do like the idea that weekly discipleship group meetings should be treated as being an important aspect of a Christian life as Sunday service. I know that many Christian students around me have the mentality that Sunday service is compulsory whilst discipleship group meetings is optional. It seems like that has become my mentality as well. I suppose I would like to have a lifestyle in which discipleship group can be a fundamental part of my Christian life and that I would not have to forgo attending discipleship group meetings for work. I guess it is worth asking myself the question what I want in life, and I do wish that I have a discipleship group in which I can find the company of my fellow Christian friends in church. I hope my I would not be bogged down with a work schedule that would force me to have to forgo discipleship group meetings.
But I have been struggling with my studies at law school for this semester. In part, I have been experiencing an uncomfortable tension headache throughout the semester that affects my concentration, comprehension, and memory capabilities. I might not be as intelligent as I would like to be, and this may be the reason that I am finding it harder than most of my peers in law school in grasping the curriculum of my law studies.
My church friend's text message to me caused me to reflect about whether I should be skipping discipleship group meetings. I would certainly like to never have to skip a single discipleship group meeting. I used to have a belief that I never have to give discipleship group meetings a miss because God can help me do well in my examinations and I need not study so hard as to miss discipleship group meetings. I thought it somewhat an antithetical notion to one's christian faith to think that one has to weigh the priority of his christian life with that of his other commitments because I thought that God can help one do well in these other life commitments. But my dismal results in law school for the last semester has made me question whether it is necessary weigh the priorities of my christian commitments and cut down on them to make more time for other commitments in my life. I sometimes wish that God could help me out in my life as how I would think it good for me, such as making me as intelligent and wise as like Daniel and Solomon, gifted in knowledge and understanding for everything so that I would not have to spend much time on studies. I wish that I could have knowledge and understanding in my head without having to study.
I decided to go for today's discipleship group meeting. We went through on various passage in the old testament about how the Israelites turned away from God and worshiped foreign gods, to which God would turn them to the hands of foreign rulers by allowing them to be defeated in battles, after which God would raise up various judges to rescue them from the foreign rule. The cycle repeats itself. My discipleship group leader talks about how we might find it easy to identify such stiff-neckness in our own conduct in our lives as well. I would have to admit that this is quite true for me. I believe that God has bless me in life and has shown his graciousness to me in times in my life. I can recount times when I could have died in a road accident had the car driver not been as careful or had I been a little more careless. And I believe that I would not have gotten into law school if not for the help of God. But now, when I find myself experiencing difficulties in life, such as my difficulties making out the meaning of conversation when there are background noises and tinnitus because of the loud noise exposure from the sundown festival concert I went to in 2010, and my dismal law school results, I began to question whether God exists especially when I have prayed a lot for healing and for him to help me to do well in law school. And so, thinking about it, I am really not much different from the Israelite in the bible, and their forgetful nature isn't as puzzling as how I used to think it to be.
One important lesson from today's discipleship group lesson was the concept of symbols and rituals in the jewish and christian religion to serve as reminders of covenants between God and his people. The Jews had circumcision and monuments to serve as reminders of their covenant with God. For Christians, the reminder of the new covenant comes from the Holy Communion and from saying the creeds like the Apostle's creed and the Nicene Creed. The take-home lesson was about how we should be reminded about the new covenant when we partake in these rituals, and how by being reminded, we should behave towards God differently than how the Israelite did.
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