Varsity Christian Fellowship Sharing Session

We had a session of sharing for Varsity Christian Fellowship today. I will write about my thoughts about some of the things shared during the session. A girl shared about a social conundrum that I can identify with. She talked about her encounter with an acquaintance she knew while on her way to the bus stop. While she thought it was a pleasant encounter to meet a person she had not seen for quite some time, she was worried about whether she would have enough topics for conversation, or whether the conversation would come to an awkward standstill for lack of knowledge of what to speak. Then, when she and the guy boarded the bus, she was concerned about whether she should take the time during the trip to speak to this acquaintance of hers, or whether she should spend the time reviewing stuff in her studies. She thought it would be quite unfriendly of her if she just decide to sit at another place in the bus and not talk to this acquaintance, even if she could explain that she wanted to catch up on her studies.

I found it interesting to hear from another person about a social dilemma that I commonly face. It is the fear of pulling off a bad social impression on another person. And for me, I am quite self-conscious about my poor social skills and ability to perform well in a social situation. If I meet an acquaintance on my way, I would have the dilemma of whether to talk to the person or to wait and let the person go ahead of me. There is one, the fear that I would not have any topics to converse with the person, and neither would that person have any topics to converse with me, which would lead to an awkward silence. And then there is the fear that I would appear antisocial or unfriendly if I just avoid the person. And I have experienced the bad results in either decision, such that I find people treating me coolly perhaps because I left a bad social impression on them. But it is nice to hear that there are other people who face such a dilemma in their social encounters as well. I think from hearing about the fears and concerns that people face in their social experience, we can learn to be more understanding of one another and not be presumptuous of a person’s character based on first impression.

A guy shared about his disappointment with not being selected for a programme that preps him up on track for being in the NUS mooting team for the prestigious Jessup Cup. He is a very good mooter and had won many competitions that he participated in, and he was somewhat miffed at the teacher-in-charge for not selecting him on reasons he felt unjustified. But he said it got him to reflect on how he consider the meaning of success and failure to his life.

I haven’t had much success in life lately. Law school is tough on me. But I always have the belief that success and failure belongs in the hands of God, and God exalts as well as humbles. I do cherish the hope that God has a bright future ahead in store for me.

I shared about what was going on in my discipleship group at church at the moment. Right now, my discipleship group is undergoing some sort of leadership crisis because our discipleship group leader wants to relinquish his responsibilities at church so that he can go find a girlfriend by church hopping. He figured that he is nearing the age for marriage and has been finding it difficult to find a girlfriend at where he works and in the church. Another discipleship group member wasn’t too impressed and commented that my discipleship group leader should show his trust in God to provide a life partner by staying in church and waiting on God to provide his significant other. In his opinion, if God wills for someone to be your life partner, it will happen without your having to strive to make an effort to find that significant other. And to take any active action on one’s part to find a relationship partner shows that one does not trust God enough.

I certainly found this discipleship group member’s views very judgmental. And I don’t think his views are theologically substantiable. Nevertheless, I do like the idea that I can trust God, do nothing and find a girlfriend, instead of worrying about whether I should be doing something before I end up single in life and regret my lack of initiative.