I Kissed Dating Goodbye 2

I continue with my reading of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.On page 38 Joshua Harris talks about the problems with the dating system as expressed in modern day culture. He says that even Christian couples today with good intentions find their relationship on their culture's defective attitudes and patterns for romance. He lists some of the defective attitudes towards relationships inherent in dating culture today. 1. Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship. 2. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love 3. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships 4. Dating can distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future 5. Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness 6. Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character, and 7. Dating often becomes an end in itself

I am not exactly sure what the dating culture is like in America. From my impression from watching American movies and television shows though, it seems to be a kind of 'I ask you out' after a 'love at first sight' encounter. Now, here in Singapore, I don't think there is the same kind of 'I ask you out' kind of dating culture. If I may surmise a description of the romance culture, people in love here would prefer to keep it subtle. The mutual acknowledgement of attraction comes in the form of subtle exchanges of romantic gestures. Guy gets all cocky and funny in front of the girl, and girl respond in some reciprocal form. And the romantic relationship is impressed upon the two parties by the mutual friends amongst them, who would tease the pair. This becomes subsumed into the psyche of the pair and fans the expectation that there is indeed a form of romantic relationship between them.

I may be wrong on the matter as I don't hang out with social groups with girls in them. And as with every stereotype description, there are exceptions. But personally, I have a fear of being too suggestive when it comes to interacting with girls. It makes things awkward. I would actually like to believe that romance would blossom between people that are meant to blossom without needing for overt actions on either part. I believe in fate and God's will. It makes things so much less complicated.

I like what Joshua Harris says about contentment with God's gift of singleness. He says, "Though it isn't true of all relationships, dating relationships are often fueled by impatience, and we can directly relate many problems with dating to wrong timing. We want what we want right now...But God wants us to appreciate the gifts of the present season of out lives. He wants us to learn the patience and trust necessary to wait for His perfect timing in all things, including our love lives."

I got to say that I feel quite worried about myself when I see all my peers in relationships. And even if they are not, they are at least actively socializing with people of the opposite sex. It does make me feel as if there is something wrong about myself. And indeed, one thing that makes me unhappy in life is my difficulty in interacting with members of the opposite gender. I think I lack the natural social intuition that is imbued in normal people around me. Well, there is something comforting about being told that God has a time and purpose for everything. I suppose I will try to look on the bright side and enjoy my carefree days of single-hood.