Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Back from Anntic Camp

During my time at the varsity christian fellowship camp in malaysia, we had daily sermons by Rev Paul Woods on the book of Colossians from chapter 1 up to chapter 3. I like the sermons about how Christians undergraduates in university should recognise the sumpremacy of God in all affairs of life, be contented with what we have and not be materialistic in our pursuits in life, be more open and inclusive in the way we conduct our relationships with fellow believers, and be a counter-cultural Christian influence in moulding society into a more loving, inclusive, caring, and compassionate one. I always feel that happy optimism of warmth and joy when hearing sermons like these speaking of such simple, yet inspiring message of being God's people and living out our lives in such a manner with one another and towards society.

It's nice to see fellow undergraduates from the National University of Singapore from the various faculties sharing the same Christian faith. I got to interact with people from medicine, engineering, architecture, social sciences,etc. My interaction helps me regain a perspective of what being a human being is about, that there is some sort of commonality in all humanity that is not describable in simply vocation-specific terms. I liked what Han Ting, a law undergraduate senior shared about how he is able to see how small his knowledge and study of the law is compared to everything in the world. He put it quite aptly in his example that he still has to visit a doctor when he is sick and all his knowledge in the law would not help him.

We also had an inductive bible study session to learn how to study the bible. I liked the presentation given by the speakers for the session. However, I had much difficulties in the group work because of my hearing difficulties, disorientation in a group discussion, and general difficulties in research work such as inability to read and comprehend fast enough. I would leave the group on these occassions, frustrated that I am exhbitedly expressing such aloofness by 'stoning' there inappropriately in a social situations, and not participating in the group activity. I experience such frustrating episodes as well in group works for my Law and Research Writing Skills module in law school as well. I am struggling to find a solution to my predicament.

Still, I was quite quiet in social situations like meals with the group that I was assigned to in camp. The groupmates from the other faculties must have been baffled by my apparent aloofness, which is different from the typical conception of a law student as being articulate and outgoing in mannerism. My hearing difficulties and condition with Asperger's Syndrome are just rather debilitating to me socially.

After a while, certain people in the group stopped trying to interact with me. I am not sure what their impression was of me. I told the group leader of my hearing difficulties, and she was kind enough to get a quiet room for bible study discussion sessions. I later told the group of my having Asperger's Syndrome when sharing about how I have found the Christian community being an inclusive and caring one to me despite my social aloofness, and I told them that I would like them to recognise such symptoms around them in school as stemming from an autism spectrum disorder and to reach out to these people as a Christian community. I told them I was not trying to be arrogant when I am quiet, but I do experience this general inhibition in my mannerism which I can't help myself.

I later also shared about my condition to my law VCF community and about how I wish to function normally as a human being despite having such a condition because I felt that some people were avoiding talking to me or even looking at me when I pass them by because they might have some misconception about my character based on my behavior. I told them about how I was trying to reach out to them, but I find it difficult due to my social deficit disorder. Truth be told, I don't think anyone cared much about my sharing. No one approached me after my sharing to ask me more about my condition. But I suppose I hope that they would perceive me in a different way and not be prejudicial of my character from my social awkwardness.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that your group was so, for lack of a better word, apathetic to you. Don't let it affect your relationship with God; I'm not sure I would have done better than your group members if I was in your group, but I pray God keeps you, and them, all in his care and open arms.

God bless

Samuel Tee said...

Hey Anon, thanks for your kind words. Appreciate it much.

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