My obligation to live up to my potential

I am not sure what is the reason for my not getting a hang of how to study for law. I am right now trying a "do everything possible" approach to law school studies. That is, I try to study as much as possible, as long as possible, as efficiently as possible, and as effectively as possible. But it seems like other than being able to study long hours, I don't seem to be able to achieve any efficiency or effectiveness in my studies. I would pore through the notes, the cases, the slides, the muggers, the textbooks, the handouts etc....and I doubt that there is really any progress. I am not seeing the links amongst the disparate sources of materials. I am also rather poor in my ability to organize the materials coherently, both in my notes and in my mind. I also don't think that I am truly comprehending the materials, but I am a little unsure about how I can go about comprehending the materials better. And I am not sure how to use the materials effectively to answer the hypothetical question in the tutorial. In the end, I just go into a tutorial session by reading the answers I get from seniors and from the notes.

I suppose I just want to be responsible in the way I approach my studies, and do the best possible for my law school education. It is the least that I can ask of myself, isn't it. I mean, there may come a point where I must acknowledge my intellectual limitations, and which barrier I may not be able to surmount by hard work alone. I hate having to acknowledge such barriers for myself, especially when it pertains to intellectual capabilities. I would like to think that I have the requisite intelligence to do what I want to do. But like all traits that defines a human being, they vary in degrees amongst different human individuals. Some are bornt much more athletic than others, some more sociable than others, some more beautiful than others, and then some more intelligent than others. I don't have traits of sociability, it's something that I am very much deficited in because of Aspergers' Syndrome. I don't think I am that good-looking, although people have told me to the contrary that I am good-looking, and I appreciate those compliments. But if there is any trait that I value more than others, it would be the trait of intelligence. I do wish that I could be the smartest man in the world because then, life would be easy wouldn't it? But alas, I have to come to terms in my life that I am not as intelligent as I would like to be. It angst me somewhat to have to come to terms with a notion that I am limited in my intellectual capabilities. But I suppose that I should give thanks for the amount of intelligence I find in my possession and not gripe too much. I just hope that it is enough to do well in law school.

I mean, I just wish to be a sane and responsible person in how I do things in life. I don't think I can ask for anything more of myself, can I? I want to put in the necessary hard work to do well, such that it cannot be excused of me that it was due to my lack of responsibility that I did not do well. I sometimes present a hypothetical question to myself, asking myself whether someone else who is in my shoes could have done any better. I mean, if someone could indeed have done better if it were me(that is my physical body), then that means that I(the spiritual me) have not fulfilled my obligation to live up to my potential.