Holiday Travel Plans; Law School examination; Wisdom teeth extraction; An examination of miracle healing

I just finished my law school examinations a few days ago, so it's going to be a month of school holiday. I will be travelling to Korea and Hong Kong for the holidays. It's going to be my second time to Korea and fourth time to Hong Kong. I did like my time in both countries in my previous vacations over there.

I don't think I did well for the examination, and I would be contented just to pass it. It has been a struggle for me in law school. For this semester, I had been suffering from what seems like a tension headache which makes it difficult for me to concentrate and learn. I don't know why my mind seems to shut off when reading law school materials, and it would not be practicable if I were to painstakingly examine the text sentence by sentence, or word by word, like how I did in the previous semester, in order to elucidate the materials. I find it hard to understand the lectures, take notes, do the tutorials, make my notes, prepare a presentation, and practice on the past year exam papers. I also seem to be having a very bad memory. I either seem to have lost touch with studying after about a 3 years break from schooling, or there is something profoundly different about law school which I am finding it difficult to adjust to. But I think I am getting a hang of it, and I am beginning to understand what law is about and how it works to facilitate society. I do find law interesting, and I wish my mind was more percipient to understanding law school materials and knowing how to go about doing well for law school examinations.

I had my 2 lower wisdom teeth extracted yesterday so my mouth is really sore and feel uncomfortable now. I look like a chipmunk with the swollen lower jaw (Or a Mitt Romney). It is kind of ugly. This was the first time that I have gone for a surgery under general anesthesia. Being sedated is kind of an interesting experience. As I was being administered general anasthesia, the last I could remember before going unconscious was the doctor telling me that i would be going unconscious within a minute as he administered a anesthesia. I was trying identify the point in which I would doze off, but I couldn't pinpoint how I became unconscious. And it seemed like the moment I came to was just as momentary as how I lost consciousness. It's just that my lower mouth felt sore. On the dental tray in front of me was a small container containing my wisdom teeth, broken up into many pieces during the extraction process. I didn't even feel that I was being operated upon during the entire period of unconsciousness. I couldn't believe I slept through so soundly throughout the operation. Tongue-in-cheek word of advice to lawyers or lawyers-to-be - Do not ever find yourself placed on an operation table of a surgeon whom you had represented a client in bringing a successful medical negligence suit against.
 
I have been thinking of attending a miracle healing session to seek healing for my hearing problems and tension headaches. I mean, I should give it a try before resorting to medical means like wearing a hearing aid right? I know, I have a rather pragmatic philosophy towards finding a solution for curing my illnesses, in the sense, I view miracle healing in my schemata of decision making as a try-and-see course of action before taking any radical medical action. If it works, well and good and praise the Lord. If it does not, that's not something to be too disappointed over, and I would proceed on to medical recourse or try to tolerate and accomodate my lifestyle to my illness if nothing can be done.

I am trying to find out more about how a Christian should be thinking about miracle healings. There are really conflicting sentiments that I have towards miracle healings. On the one hand, Christianity is a supernatural religion which acknowledges the presence of supernatural powers, one of which is miracle healing. On the other hand, there is a relative lack of observable supernatural phenomenas in the contemporary age, and I am not sure to what extent signs and wonders such as miracle healings take place in the current day and age. I also am afraid of being perceived or laughed at as being superstitious in resorting to the supernatural, but I must pause and reflect about the rationality of such fear. Christianity is afterall a supernatural religion, and the bible features things like raising of dead and virgin birth.

I once attended a miracle healing event at the Singapore Indoor Stadium about 3 years ago. The miracle healer was a man named Reinhard Bonnke, a Charismatic Christian evangelist known for his evangelism and missionary work in Africa. Posters featuring the miracle healing event was featured in MRT trains advertisement section prior to the event. I thought that this was my opportunity for to see some live miracles that I always hear about. My brother was keen too. He had seen videos of paralyzed individuals walking after a miracle healing session, lifting up their crutches, and shaking the crutches in the air in jubilation after having received their miracle healing. I asked my church discipleship groups whether they were going to the event, and they were keen on it.

I was fairly skeptical, yet hopeful when I went to the miracle healing event to see real cases and testimony of people being healed. There was first the song and worship portion, and Reinhard Bonnke talked about his experience in the ministry. And then there was the miracle healing segment, where Reinhard Bonnke begin to speak in a fervour to ask for God's presence and healing to come upon the congregation, and there was laying of hands, praying, and speaking in tongues, and an elevation of the mood of the gospel music played in the stadium that works up a good vibe of miracle healing in procession. After that, Reinhard Bonnke invited members who have received miracle healing to come up to share their testimony. There were quite some people who came up to give their testimony, such as a woman who said she has been cured of her sinus, or a man who said his shoulder stiffness went away. I was cynical of the apparent triviality of the miracle healing that were being testified about, and I thought that the congregation was deluded if it had not seen the ostensible cases of people who did not receive their miracle healing that was at the event.  I saw a paraplegic woman on a wheelchair, who at the supposed "high point" of the miracle healing session, was struggling to stand up and walk, her body convulsing in her effort to do so. She tried again and again, each time without success. And then when the miracle healing segment was over, she was back onto her wheelchair. I was praying to God constantly throughout the time of miracle healing that I would see that woman healed, and I wept when I saw her trying so hard to stand up and walk. I was disappointed when I saw that the healing did not happen for her because I felt she had so much faith in God to cure her of her paralysis and deserved to have been cured. I was commenting to my discipleship group mentor about the sheer inanity of the miracle healing session after the event.

Reflecting now about my attitude towards the testimony of miracle healings then, I think my cynicism about the miracle healing is misplaced. I shouldn't be discounting the healings that were testified to as being trivial. It probably meant quite something to those who obtained relief from their illness. I am sure that if I am healed of tinnitus and hearing impairments, and of tension headaches in a miracle healing session, and I were to go up to the front to give my testimony, some people would similarly discount my report of being healed as trivial. But from my own point of view, this would certainly be a meaningful miracle to me. I guess the reason for the skepticism about the nature of such miracle healing is due to the inapparent nature of the healing, such that one cannot verify whether there was any act of miracle healing at all, or that it was simply a placebo effect which had no actual remdying effect. Indeed, an accusation that is levied by conservative Christians and atheists against purported miracle effects in these charismatic miracle healing events is that there are no verified cases of people with ostensible medical defects or illnesses, such as amputees, having received healing for their conditions, which would have removed any ambiguity of the healing having its origin from divine power. But what is not apparent does not mean it was not substantial. Indeed, if I were healed of my hearing impairments and tension headaches, it would feel very substantial to me even if it cannot be verified by anyone else.

I am quite a conservative in my Christian outlook, and am predisposed towards being apprehensive towards charismatic beliefs and practices like prosperity gospel, glossolalia, and claims of divine truth via revelation.  I was pretty vexed by some criticisms about the church from a discipleship group friend who told me that the church we are in is lacking in spirituality or faith because it does not have revelation and prophecies amongst the congregation, the pastors don't conduct miracle healings, and people don't speak in tongues. I thought it necessary to educate my discipleship group peers about these things by reading up on it and telling my discipleship group mates in a discipleship group discussion about the correct biblical doctrine with regards to signs and wonders in the current times.

I read Charismatic Chaos by John F MacArthur in preparing my discipleship group discussion session, which is not exactly a neutral manner to examine charismatic theology as the author presents a rather critical stance from a conservative perspective. In disputing the charismatic's theology of divine revelation in the present age, MacArthur asserts that God works through a historical process to establish the authenticity of the canon so that the whole church might have a clear standard. If we now throw out that historical standard and redefine inspiration and revelation, we undermine our own ability to receive God's truth. Regarding miracles, MacArthur distinguishes between acts of providence and miracles. Acts of providence reveal God's working in our daily lives and often come as answer to prayers, but they are not the kind of supernatural signs and wonders Scripture classifies as miracles. MacArthur asserts that although God continues to operate on a supernatural level today, he does not believe that God uses men and women as human agents to work miracles in the same way he used Moses, Elijah, or Jesus. MacArthur rationalized that the purpose of miracles is to substantiate God's revelation of the Old and New testament, and that since that is finished, the age of miracles is passed. I thought MacArthur put it quite sensibly when he substantiates his point by saying that God wants people to come to him in repentence for sin, and for his glory, not because they see him as a panacea for their physical and temporal ills.

My discipleship group discussion degenerated into a debate between me and my former discipleship group mentor who was formerly a member from a mega charismatic church in Singapore, before he came to my church. He disputed that the purpose of miracles was simply to validate the revelation of the testaments, and that there was a restriction of the gift of miracle healing to the apostles.

I suppose if there was any effect from my discipleship group discussion, it surfaced an perennial theological controversy that has caused a schism in the protestant denomination of Christianity. I realized that MacArthur's arguments were all inferential in nature, and therefore easily subject to disputation. I realized how this entire field was steep in theological controversies when I read up more about it later on. There is one camp, known as the cessationist, who believe that miraculous gifts and powers ended after a certain era of church history, and then there are the continuationist who believe that miraculous gifts and powers continue to the present day.

I take on a more moderate and pragmatic stance with regards to miracle healings these days. I think the cessationist-continuationist debate is moot for me. I don't discount that miracle healings take place in this day and age. I have been watching youtube films of such stuff, and reading up on the internet of purported verifiable miraculous signs and wonders that have taken place and were witnessed by many people, even though I think that it is rare and special, and one should not be too disappointed if he sees himself not healed in a miracle healing session. It is my belief that God works through human means, such as through doctors, to provide healing and relief.

I have come across the websites of some Singaporean churches providing miracle healings. One such church is Lighthouse Evangelism, which is ministered by the controversial pastor Ronny Tan who had previously gotten himself into trouble under the Internal Security Act for uploading a video on his church website featuring him making a remark about Buddhism and Taoism being religions from the devil in response to testimonies by members of the congregation who were former-buddhists. I have taken a look at the church's website. It has a page featuring testimonies from attenders of the service about how they have been healed from their respective infirmities. There is even a mother who shared her testimony about how her son's mild autism symptoms have improved. I think I shall give their miracle healing session a try.

What is the correct attitude towards the possiblity of miracle healings? I suppose I keep my expectations low. In part, I don't want to be disappointed if I don't see miracle healings happening. I want to have an explanation so that I can hold firm to my faith in God. I think that some of my fellow Christians would charge me for having doubts which is why I don't receive what I pray for, and it vexes me that there seems to be something correct in their opinion of things. Indeed, I have trouble about this concept of 'belief' that is necessary for the receiving of healing because it doesn't make sense to me that divine miracles should predicate on belief. Rather, I believe that it should simply be God's will that something should happen or not.