First a human being, then a lawyer

In the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer which I watched a week ago, the character Bruce Panadolfini (played by Bens Kingsley) who was coach to the young Josh Waitzkin advised the boy that to succeed in the world of chess, he needs to desire to win more than anything else in the world, even to the point of obsession. One advice he gave was to be in contempt of one's opponents, and to hate him as to want to destroy his ego. The young Josh Waitzkin chose not to define the game of chess in such a manner. Instead he saw the game of chess for what it is - a game. He didn't want to be like Bobby Fischer, the eccentric former world chess champion whose chess obsession turned him somewhat into a misanthrope. Josh saw himself and his opponent, top seed player Jonathan Poe, as human beings worthy of respect. In the end, Josh won the chess junior's championship under his own perogative to perceive the game of chess in the humane way that it should be.

Every human being find himself engaged in a pursuit in during his life. For some, the entire experience of the pursuits which they find themselves in come to characterize the entirety of their human experience. Sometimes, it is worth stopping to reflect about what it means to be human, and to see these pursuits for what they are. Like a game of chess, a pursuit does not define who one is. A pursuit is simply part of one's life, and does not encompass the entirety of one's existence.

I had spent the years prior to law school as an admin in the army, during which time I had much time to engage in learnings of all kinds. I applied my mind to reading widely and to attempting to understand all that there is to reality. It was a time of relative intellectual freedom in my life, where I was at liberty to explore various fields of discipline at my own perogative. I would say that this period in my life gave me perspective about life, to see the role of knowledge and learning in relation to an individual human being. During my younger days, the pursuit of learning or studying was done with the end in mind of scoring well for the examinations. Every discipline of study, from the sciences to the arts, were all done with a result-oriented aim. A possible reason for such a narrow perspective towards studies is the success-oriented ideology that I had acquired during my younger days. Perhaps the Chinese-culture primary school which I had been in had inculcated into my mentality the notion that studying hard is a fundamental virtue in life. I was also introduced to and found myself later intrigued and somewhat obsessed with popular self-help books such as the likes of Adam Khoo's 'I am gifted, so are you' which characterized studies in a result-oriented manner of scoring As for exams.

I would think it a regress in my mental maturity if I should ever slip back to the constraint perspective I had about studying and learning in my younger days. I think it artificial to treat my studies in law simply in a result-oriented fashion with the sole aim of scoring As for exams. The study of law is more about scoring As; It is about understanding how society work, and wanting to play a part in the faciliatation of this institution known as the judiciary which plays a part in the optimal functioning of society.

Life is more than a series of test. I think I must certainly not be too engrossed in my law studies as to constraint my perception of reality as to think the understanding of law all-encompassing of human consciousness. Society requires men and women in vocations of all types in order for its optimal functioning, and not all are employed into the understanding of the discourse of law. I think it somewhat unhealthy for the law faculty to be isolated at the Botanic Gardens from the other faculties at Kent Ridge. The parochial culture might just delude one into thinking that law is simply all there is relevant to the functioning of society.  On some occassions, when I am with friends who are not in the study of law, I ask them whether they know anything about how the law works so as to prod myself to be in awareness of reality. When they express ignorance at even the most basic concept of what a justice system is, it affirms my sense of realism and invigorates me from my dulled perspective of the study of law. I am able to internalize within myself a sense of reality, and see that the role of lawyer, just like any other role of humans from different walks of life in society, is simply a form of existence. It does not constitute all of human existence. It is simply, like the game of chess, a pursuit to which one applies himself or herself to.

And thus, for the fact that I find myself having chose this domain of pursuit, I must apply my mind earnestly to the acquisition of knowledge about how the law works and learn the trades and crafts of being a lawyer. But I think I shall have to desist from desiring to have this discourse of study characterize the entire of my existence. As the existentialists in the likes of Jean-Paul Sartre would posit, human existence precedes its essence, and I foremost exists as a human, and then a lawyer.